For the past four years, I have worked as a camp counselor. For the first three years, I worked at a camp in Southwestern Virginia about 60 miles from my hometown for Boy Scouts ages 11 to 17. The summer of 2013 was my last summer there for many reasons, but I don’t want to get into that. The important thing was that, I had always felt like an outcast in high school, and at this camp, I found a community that I belonged to. It was also one of the first summers that I never felt bored. Sure, there were moments of stress, sleep deprivation, and when a day indoors with Netflix and something other than camp food sounded great. It was definitely better than spending summer at home, during which I would periodically hang out with the few friends that I had and spend the rest of the time reading on my screened in porch.
In the summer of 2014, I decided that it was time for something different. Originally, it was not my plan to work as a camp counselor again– I was actually hoping to score an internship in publishing or editing. I was talking to my mother on the phone and she encouraged me to go out, see the world, and work somewhere different in the country. So, that is exactly what I did.
I used a website called CoolWorks.com (which I highly recommend if you are looking for cool, outdoorsy jobs anywhere in the US), and I found an all-girls camp in Maine and applied for a job there. Though I applied for other jobs, such as working as a desk assistant or maid at resorts in national parks, I was much better at getting offered camp counselor jobs, because of my experience and because of the fact that I was not yet 21 years old.
So, on June 10th, I packed up my old ’95 Jeep Cherokee and drove all the way from Virginia to just outside of Boston in one day. This took about 15 hours, including traffic in Hartford, CT and getting pulled over by a cop right before I got to my aunt’s house in Concord. I wasn’t ticketed or anything; he merely thought I was texting when I was using my phone as a GPS.
So, for a week before pre-camp started, I explored Boston with the help of my aunt and my cousin. It was my own vacation, and, while walking through charming Cambridge, visiting the MFA, and looking out over the harbor, Boston became one of my favorite cities.
Shortly before pre-camp started, I journeyed up to New Hampshire and roamed through the White Mountains. The mountains were so lush and green, and yet they were much larger than the ones that I grew up looking at in Roanoke. This was also the trip during which I learned that traveling alone is one of life’s greatest treats. Given that I was traveling in a small town, I never once felt unsafe. Furthermore, it was completely up to me what I wanted to do; my day could follow a strict itinerary, or I could lackadaisically wander through the mountains and the tiny, one-stop light towns. As you can probably tell, I did the latter. However, I also took a wonderful hike in the Flume Gorge and took a tram up the side of a mountain whose name currently escapes me. From the summit, I could see into Maine, Vermont, New York, and even Canada. It was spectacular, and surprisingly very cold.
At the camp, I made so many great friends that I still keep in touch with. A few of us even have a group chat, so I hear from them typically every single day. So, I feel very close to them even though I haven’t seen their faces since last August. I had great experiences, and, since this camp was so different from the camp that I worked at in Virginia, I learned some completely new skills. It was truly a fantastic experience to meet such wonderful people, work in such a wonderful place, and experience a different part of my country.
Enough about last summer and the summers before.
It is 2015, and it is time to focus on the now. I miss camp life more than I ever thought. What I miss most about it is having a community; even though camp life is very isolated– a life without computers or cell phones for most hours of the day– it is a close-knit environment. It is a small village of sorts. I soon almost knew all of the campers, and all of the counselors. So much of camp life is about creating a uniting culture through tradition and even things as silly as campfire songs. By participating in these things, one could never feel lonely.
This is a stark contrast to my life this summer. This summer, I am in Charleston, where I go to school at the College of Charleston, and I have a job at a resort in the Isle of Palms that consists of checking people for wristbands before they enter a pool. Though I get a lot of reading done, a lot of tanning done, and make a lot of money for what I do, I still find myself quite lonely. I talk to the people who come in sometimes, but most of the time, they just want to spend time with their family or friends with them, which I totally understand.
I also have a copywriting internship, which is great because this is the last summer I have before I graduate (yikes!) and I am blessed to be able to get some hands-on career experience. This particular internship, however, is remote, which means I basically just write whatever they tell me to write about, and I email them what I write. Though it is awesome to gain experience writing professionally, I would hardly call the quick emails that my boss and I send to each other interaction.
I used to think that this solitude was something that I wanted, but now I am not so sure. Even during the school year, though I am introverted and have a small circle of friends, I found myself talking to different people, like my classmates, my professors, the residents in the dorm that I work at, and my coworkers. Even just several small interactions made me so happy. We did not have to have the deep, intellectual conversations that me and my close friends have, and we did not have to promise to hang out again. It was just nice to talk about something we were both experiencing, whether it be a tough assignment or a new episode of a TV show we both happened to watch. Feeling this way made me realize how much just saying hi or asking someone how their day is going can make them feel. Though small, it makes one feel like they belong to a community of people who care about you, even if it is just a little bit.
Now, I only have two friends in Charleston with me. To be honest, I would only say that I have a few close friends at the college. Those numbers this past semester have been even more limited because so many people study abroad during their junior year. I only have a close-knit group of friends, but even friendly casual interactions with people that were in my classes and at work made me feel less lonely. Now, I am left with a roommate who is busier than I am, and a job and an internship, both in which I have minimal interaction with others.
I know that life isn’t always supposed to be fun adventures, but I still see this as an adventure or a challenge nonetheless. No matter what you are doing, I urge you to make the most of this beautiful season. Make the most of the free time that other seasons do not allow. Take the time to contemplate your life in the present, and what your future plans may be. Take a class or two. Take a trip or two. Make some friends. Start that novel that you’ve had an idea or two about the past few months. Summer is the chance to go out and do whatever it is you’re thinking of doing. It is a time for personal projects, whether than means crafts on your pinterest that you have been eying, learning how to play a new instrument, or even making an effort to exercise regularly.
So, my Lonely Summer question is this: How can I still have a fulfilling summer even without the resources that camp life provided me? You may have a different objective, and that is absolutely fine! I am planning on writing a little bit about what I do to keep things fresh.
My plan right now is to cultivate myself. To learn a little bit more about myself before a dive into the real world. Though it hasn’t been easy, I think the contemplation that I have faced, and the extra time on my hands, is integral at such a time. Now, I can really start planning what I want to do after I graduate. It is a daunting task, but I have no doubt that I can do it.
In my spare time, I have been working on some online classes– nothing too intense. I am earning my TEFL, or my certification to teach English as a second language, and I am using Codecademy to learn HTML. I have also been working through books that I have wanted to read, and titles on Netflix that I have left to rot in my queue. Furthermore, I am starting to learn to live healthier, and I have started running. Furthermore, I have started to enjoy running as I never thought I could.
So, this blog will be dedicated to the Lonely Summer. Whatever your situation is, if you find it is somewhat similar to mine, rise up to the challenge.
In your free time, try to create a bucket list. Don’t feel guilty about what’s on it, but make sure it is something new and unfamiliar, not something you do frequently. It could be as awesome and daring as skydiving or it could be something as simple as trying a new restaurant. Look at what your city has to offer… during the summer, there are plenty of festivals and events. Even if you don’t live in a place like Charleston, where I feel like there is always something going on, take a chance to look at the surrounding area and take a little road trip. It doesn’t have to be festivals either– maybe there is a new trail nearby, a waterfall, or a park that you could visit. Perhaps it is a museum or a new boutique. Whatever it is, I encourage you to try it out. It’s as simple as Googling things to do nearby.
So, here is my bucket list for the summer. I can’t make any promises, but I am going to try to do most of these things:
- Take a candle-making class at Candlefish
- Paint artwork for my room
- Take a day trip to Savannah
- Take a day trip to Edisto Beach and Botany Bay
- Go to Wild Blue Ropes and do a challenge course
- Go paddleboarding or kayaking
- Go to the climbing gym
- Go to the rooftop bar
- Go to Wet Willies
- Go camping on the beach
- Try some of the new cafes that I just saw on East Bay
- Go to Bay Street Biergarten
- Walk across the Ravenel Bridge
- Watch the sunrise on Folly Beach
- Watch the sunset on the battery
- Write and revise a short story
- Revise a poem
- Go to a concert or event
- Go to at least one Yoga at Cannon Street park
- Go to poetry night at the East Bay Meeting House
- Go pick strawberries at Boone Hall Plantation
Perhaps unlike some of you, I do have the luxury of dragging a few friends to such events. Perhaps I can improve their summers too. Do not, however, be afraid to do these things alone. You can be surprised whom you might meet, and who else came along looking for a friend. I promise that if I can’t find someone to do these things with me, then I will do them alone.
If you feel lonely, pick up the phone and call someone you don’t see every day. It’s a great way to feel better, and more than likely, whoever you call will be glad to hear from you. It always makes someone’s day when you call someone just to talk to them and ask how they’re doing.
If you’re feeling sluggish, treat yo self. Buy a new book, CD, or outfit. Go on a short walk or run to get your endorphins up. Go get some Ben and Jerry’s and binge on Orange is the New Black (but you were already doing that, right?).
If you want to be productive, change your environment. Instead of writing in your apartment, go to a café. Just being around the hustle and bustle, listening to the warm and fuzzy sound of muffled conversation, and trying a new coffee or tea drink will definitely spice things up!
Here’s to treating yourself! Happy lonely summer!
Love,
A.
The Lonely Summer 